Conversing: A Spiritual Adventure

How many conversations does the "average" human being have in a day?

Unless you're an extreme introvert and have the luxury of excessive quiet, alone time, there's a chance that you have multiple conversations in a day. Some short. Some long. Some surface. Some deep.

Interactivity and communication appear to be innate components of life, for better and worse. Not all conversations are created equal. Perhaps they are not supposed to be. Some serve a purpose. Some play a role. Others appear to be a creative endeavor. Conversations happen so often, it's easy to lose sight of how packed with potential each one can be. However, I think there's something to be said about getting mindful of conversations as conversations in the midst of having them. At their best, they can be delightful, creative, nurturing, transformative and powerful for both/all parties.

Yesterday I had two profound conversations with someone I love. This is a person I have known for a long(ish) time and know relatively well. We talk multiple times a day, every day. We frequent the same places and know a lot of the same people. We have heard each other's good ol’ stories multiple times. We can probably name everyone in each other's extended families. Point being: when I have conversations with this person, I don't expect much in the way of thrilling and new information. We've been there and done that, with everything. Besides, "there's nothing new under the sun," right? Wrong.

The content of yesterday's dialogue isn't the point. The point is that we went to profoundly powerful places with each other, not once, but twice in one day. The second one could not have been possible without the first. The first could have stood on its own in terms of courage in vulnerability, sanctified listening and scope of conversational material. But it didn't stand on its own. We came back to it later after we'd had some time apart. The threads from the early morning conversation wove an even more beautiful and fulfilling conversation in the late morning. I found myself looking at the tested and worn relationship with new eyes.

It also made me ask myself, “If we are capable of unearthing this level of new insight and connection with one another, what does that say about our capacity as individuals and as a dyad to make meaning?” Further, how often am I sitting on that kind of gold, that kind of potential for conversational connection and relational engagement and don't know it because I don't plow down to see if it's there?

Conversations are ordinary. They happen all the time. Maybe that's part of the problem. They are so readily available that we take them for granted. But in each one, because there are multiple players, who are ever-dynamic in a world that is ever-dynamic, there's potential for new, riveting, life-enhancing stuff to come out and go down. Pretty snazzy, right?

Maybe it's not just snazz. Maybe it's sacred. Maybe there's Intelligence in this creative life that fashions us capable of unearthing new content within and between us with ever-dynamic outcomes. Creative genius seems capable of such a generous design. If only we were more willing to trust that generosity and plunge into its offering for us and our other/s.

In Ordinary Time, try on conversation as a spiritual adventure. Take a risk. Bring someone closer. Push gently into some of your own vulnerability. Invest in intimacy that's already there but could use some nurturing. Linger in the door way. Make intentional, loving eye-contact. Offer somebody a cup of coffee and tell them to "pull up a chair" while they drink it. Ask a question you actually don't know the answer to. Share gaps of quiet between sentences as honoring the sacred space that connects you. Make love with words. Just because you can. Even if it's someone you know extremely well. Especially if it's someone you know extremely well. You might find yourself surprised by how all things can become new again.